Manners...Where thou art, manners?

I walked out the front doors of a café in Kemang, and hold a door open for a woman (in her late 30’s) who trailed behind us. She sailed past the two of us like a celebrity on the red carpet, not deigning to glance in my direction and offering even a murmur of thanks. Not caring if she thinks I’m a doormat -- Nevertheless, I was floored by her sense of entitlement and lack of courtesy. Truly, I was lost in translation while still holding the door open, and then I murmured the very word to myself, “Thank you.”

 

I supposed I shouldn’t have been surprised – it’s long been documented that manners are on the decline. However, my feet were standing on a polished marble floor, inside a posh café, with its socialites obsessed by the latest fashions, flashy cars and status.  I expected to find the best qualities of manners from people. Errr…I guess not. A postcode does not define levels of arrogance of its residents after all.

 

Likewise last year, when I got a chance to visit The Land of The Great Wall (a.k.a. China), and flew with China Airlines – that makes my 12 hours flight amad berkesan! A woman, whose seat was behind me and she was sitting right next to her kid, and husband. Berdua mereka berumpi seru dengan volume suara serasa lagi nonton layar tancep. Dan si istri akan menjerit dengan amad stereonya, gak kalah stereonya sama Dolby system, pas anaknya numpahin jus! Nyaris jantung semata wayangku ini loncat keluar.

 

Kejadian masih di dalam pesawat yang sama, kali ini saya lagi antri untuk lavatory, di mana sudah ada 3 orang sebelumnya. Jadinya dari pada bengong yah mending baca2 majalah donk. Kutunggu sampai akhirnya berikut adalah giliranku masuk. Lalu tiba2 entah dari mana datangnya, seorang nenek2 menyalib antrian and berdiri di depanku! Menatapku sebentar, tapi terus asyik lagi berdiri di depanku?!?! (I said to myself, “Gak papaa, udah nenek2, memang seharusnya aku mengalah. Tabahkan hatimoe, nak.”)

 

sehabis si nenek ini keluar dari lavatory, dan saya sudah siap gaya mau nyelonong masuk. Eh…tau2nya ada seorang ibu-ibu dengan anaknya menyetop-ku, sambil komat-kamit bahasa dewa yang kira2 artinya “sebentar, saya cuman mau ngambil tissue.” tentunya saya balas dengan seyuman yang artinya “Silahkan’”
Tapi apa mau dikata, janji memang terucap hanya untuk di-ingkari. Setelah pura2 mengulur tissue untuk sekian detik, lalu detik berikutnya, “Loh…loh…looooh itu, kok pake acara tutup pintu segale?? baru gw tau ngambil tissue pake tutup pintu?!?!” Dan 5 menit kemudian ia ngeloyor keluar bersama anaknya, tanpa perasaan bersalah. *Hayahhh*

“Yak! NEXT!!" melirik kiri dan kanan.
"Yakin??? Gak ada yang mau nyerobot lagi!!!” sambi lirik kiri, lirik kanan lagi.

 

*Gggrrrbbbblblblblll…blll…bllllll….*
Laen kali, kalau mau traveling ke China. Boleh saya anjurkan untuk terbang dengan Singapore Airline, sodara-sodara. (Damai, nyaman, tenteram, tidak makan ati, dan tidak makan jantung. Amiiinnnnnn)

Untuk menghilangkan ke-sutresno-an batin, waktu dikasih makan malam saya minta wine. jadinya paling gak aku bisa mabu-mabu'an sedikit *ahik* dan melarutkan kehingar-bingaran suasana pesawat yang lebih mirip pasar itu bersama lelap tidurku, sambil berleyeh-leyeh dengan harapan esok, dapat kuucapkan “Heluuuuu…Beijingggg” ;P

 

The funniest thing I ever saw, was a fellow parading around the foyer of a big hotel barking into his mobile – then it rang *???* Similar case while I was in a bus, a woman keeps swearing at her mobile phone, 3 minutes after the phone conversation ends. *O.o*

 

Rarely, citizens to hold the door for someone half a metre behind them, they just can’t be bothered. Hardly anyone says thank you anymore. Incivilities after incivilities took its shape.
We’ve all been guilty of rudeness. In my case, whenever I got distracted – and here I blame the mobile phone *ihik* -- Often, I just shoot-off without saying any word of gratitude *hhmmppfff*

“It’s a metropolis world we live in, we’ve become obsessed with our own existence, interests and rights, we shield ourselves from the world, ‘til we forget to treat people with dignity and respect.” As I have tried to reason. While my work colleague blame the work pressures, congestion and even advertising for eroding our sense of community and respect for others.

 

Above all incident of rudeness, I’ve came across. I feel most pitiful towards people who bully bank tellers, cabbies, waiters and the like. They have little self-esteem. I really do feel sorry for them because they don’t have adequate social skills to cope without making others looks and feels bad -- Rude, I might behave on occasion. I’ll make sure for as long as I shall live, that I won’t do such a thing.

 

Eniveys! Regardless of all the rudeness the world has accomplished...

I still believe that most of us are good at heart. Only the world has pushed its population to the edge of limits, that force us to do the inevitable, by overreact to rudeness.

Ps: kalo ada yang punya pengalaman laen, monggo di share loh! ;)

Salam gula,
Novie, Snupie, Inem, whatever ;)

 

Comments

[Peggy]

Nop, kejadian kayak gini jarang nih di amrik. Kalo gue & hubby ke restoran atau ke public places macam walmart, dll, tiap kali kita mempersilakan "orang2 tua" itu lewat, atau bahkan "orang muda" sekalipun, pasti mereka at least menggangguk & tersenyum, abis itu bilang "THANK YOU". Wah, kayaknya keterlaluan banget deh orang2 yang di kemang cafe, china airlines, apalagi yang di depan lavatory itu.. minta gue tonjookkk!!! Elu sih masih sabar ya, kalo gue sih pasti gue dari pertama dgn nenek2 itu udah gue "salip" balik deh, bodo amat mau ngoceh2 apa, kan gue udah ngantri duluan, emangnya gua gak ada kerjaan apa nangkring terus di depan toilet? hahaha. Terus sama tante2 beranak kecil yang beralasan minta tissue, pasti gue langsung bilang, oh, gue cuma sebentaran doang kok... hahaha... tabah ya noppp